tall grass: may 11, 2008

I know who I am with my skipped up CD's, my recently jaded view of reality... because now I see it the way I always should have.
The romance of it all, of tragedy, hopelessness, of the dry, of the mundane. It is not the romance of another I long for in complete nature and peace. It is the romance of life-the other side, the unconventional, the unknown, the adventure.
This is what defines me. This solitude in something so much greater than myself, than the people around me-the should's, the shouldn'ts, the surfaced quick satisfactions, the misleading intimacies, the security and passion in feeling the warmth of another.
It's in the complete sound of nothing! Of my feet placed in the grass, fixated on the mountains. The temptation of escaping- leaving and becoming nothing!... or joining everything else out there.
The comfort and hope found in the unknown-the untouched.
Mocking my comfort, rejecting the illusion of reality and routine. Trusting in nothing, hoping for nothing. Simply being.
...I want to step far away from routine, from building my life. I want it all to slow.
Thank God who brought me what I always desired, finding happiness in the mundane- in the simplest of things.
Define myself in my own interpretations and views of my ambiguous experiences.
Tranquility is a detoxification of life, of barriers that hold me from realization.
I am always in love. With certain aspects of life that we are socialized to overlook- the in-material.